01 October 2012

A change in plans

Tonight I decided to change my travel plans. No longer will I be going to Jordan. For reasons I still can't quite fathom myself, and despite all of the things I wanted to do there, I've cancelled my visit. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but believe me it was.

I know I've made the right decision for me. But that doesn't explain why it's so damned hard and why I feel like a piece of me has been lost.

No doubt others are confused or hurt by my decision. I can only say I'm deeply sorry to have let you down at such short notice. But it would have been much, much worse to have kept going, feeling that I was doing the wrong thing by me.

Others, my friends, my family are more than supportive. They believe I've done the right thing. I will now rebuild my holiday plans. As one person said to me today "Who knows . . . there may be a good reason for this happening . . . something special is waiting for you out there . . ."

Now, that's worth believing in. And believing in myself. 


  1. Whatever your reasons they were the right ones...your 'gut' was saying no, and we know from experience not to ignore that feeling. I am sorry you feel wretched. Luisa

    1. Better tonight. Paris has been so welcoming - on all fronts.